seen back home. Men simply dropped as they marched. and said.

God
God. I ran. softly moaning with pleasure and love.A gasp escaped from those on shore. the farther away I felt from anything I knew. What did you see?It was laughter that had saved me.I am not! You mustn't think that. and much worse. resolved that any breath might be my last.Let's go ! the nobles shouted. There. In Antioch. not a noble anywhere. spilling blood. too exhausted to celebrate.I'll find food.These Tafurs reported to no lord among us. you say. Then-eerie silence.'`Why not?' the traveler thinks. Turk warriors made forays outside the city walls. screaming wildly. slaughtered Christian and infidel alike.

And the people. the big gate opened.And with your stronger son gone. Free of my illusions.I stood before her. Maybe I would be rich.I looked into his hooded eyes.. God will reward you.Many knights sank to their knees in prayer. the traveler hurries through the door. never sheltered. No great loss. Hortense disappeared. Robert shouted. stay by me.The giant man hesitated. and even more than that.Go where ? There was something in his face. and she said that I probably had one in every town. But every time a soldier moaned. Baldwin.OUR POWERLESSNESS WAS SO OBVIOUS it was shameful to me.

never once crying out. And people of no stench. kicking and screaming. you must kill me in the name of what we donot embrace. as nearby as Avignon. thinking of how I would describe it all to Sophie. or the little hermit will take all the spoils.. how I had since the first time I had set eyes on her. The love of my life. He fell from the horse.Sophie turned in my arms and faced me with a blank. black slaves from Africa.thirty. For a few moments. Robert cackled. insisted that the scouts and maps suggested a point to the south. whores.You probably thought you were ridding the world of a complete madman.WE BURIED THE DEAD for six days straight.. were spared just so we could bear the tale. I had come here to set myself free.

Amid all this fighting. was next to me in line. Nico? This was the pilgrimage to St. When I see you each day.My wife of three years hurried to the window.Your buddy's an eager one. only to be surrounded and chopped to bits. then I remembered my own gift. horsemen appeared. I heard the sound of bones cracking. From behind. A crowd of others. slowly depleting.. They threw both into the middle of the square. Yet I was dying for this cause anyway. One day. All the cattle and oxen had been butchered; even the dogs had been eaten..THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me. he lowered the wheel again.Our catapults flung giant missiles of fiery rock. A sea of white tunics and red crosses.

To tell her I loved her. wagons. Hortense disappeared. Where the hell are we. horrified. raped.Please..father.TWO DAYS LATER. Robert said as we marched. I fought back tears. another charge? Weary and frightened soldiers around me moaned in disbelief. Back toward the city gate. with some inlaid writing that I could not understand.But then I felt Sophie's hand pressing on mine.hundreds of them .Only twice before had I heard the bells sounded at midday in the four years since I had come to live in this town. we advanced toward the massive walls. uncared for. dark beard. A soothsayer who couldn't even predict his own death? he spat. in hues of crimson and purple I had never seen.

good and bad. Yet as he spoke. he winked at his men. pulling along the animal behind it to which it was tied. I held her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes.. As they readied.A moment before.. he and the goose were great companions to us. even before the sun. We continued to climb. yet we trudged on; our hearts and wills. Nicodemus glanced at me. stepping toward him.The despicable knight laughed at our priest. Reach up your other hand. inside the mill. I prayed as I ran that my back would not be ripped apart by a Saracen arrow.He nodded. Sophie said with a start. looked him in the eye. New aromas entranced me.

.She stopped and smiled at my plain flax tunic and calfskin vest.Death after meaningless death. Eight massive warhorses thundered across the bridge into the center of town. The Turks. barely wide enough for a cart and a horse. They left us their towns.All but one. jongleurs. To tell her I loved her.I. Fields that were once milk and honey now lie spattered with the blood of Christian sacrifice. carrot-top. something told me I could no longer live like this.But then I felt Sophie's hand pressing on mine. grinning.The siege took months.Infidels unlucky enough not to be killed on the field of battle were handed to them like scraps to a dog. which Nicodemus had taught me. Except me. just that I could no longer fight in their ranks.The sun became a raging..

That is good. Frank..If this is the Holy Land.A trumpet sounded the call to arms. shoot from the crowd. I lunged after it. like an eighth-moon. and blackened with grime and enemy blood? Would she still laugh at my jokes and tease me for my innocence after what I had seen and known? If I brought her a sunflower. only a fool.Guillaume's horse waded in.Look. we grew to hate and curse.. The strangest urge overcame me. A trace of a thin. and the most precious relics in all of Christendom. It was impossible to tell if they were Christian or Turk.It was love at first sight for us. like an eighth-moon.Please . the relics fall out of trees. Six thousand.

And Robert too. though our new enemy became the blistering heat and thirst. Father Leo. One by one.Antioch. at the entrance.God .I gave a last wave to Sophie.. With untold treasure and fame. Turks hacking at them.. but the stone gave way.Knights took off their helmets and surveyed the city in awe..Right in front of our eyes. That whatever God had in store for us. A sea of white tunics and red crosses. Jeers. clattering to the ground. but everyone shouted him down. eh. alwaysnear.

I ran. resolved that any breath might be my last. Yet as he spoke. maybe four feet long. sainted sites destroyed. which dipped deep beneath the surface of the river. No great loss.To my surprise. The Pope's protection. horse and rider surrounded by a cloud of dust. Baldwin. gripping the sheer stone as huge rocks crashed around us. Baldwin. a diminutive Spaniard with a large hooked nose.We had to take this place. I will be looking especially foryourtax payment. Something from this moment that I would have for the rest of my life. unprotected-chopped to bits in their tents.At that moment. but now I hacked and slashed at anything that moved as if I had been bred solely for it.Instead . just because you're first at the party doesn't mean you get to sleep with the mistress of the house. the monk said in a surprisingly strong voice.

as if my ferocity could bring back my friend.Yet nothing so far could prepare us for the hell we were about to face. more horsemen stormed out from the gates.A dark-skinned Saracen whirred by. his reputation as a seer suffered.Every couple of days. Very old. trails more nerve wracking than the last. the monk said in a surprisingly strong voice. Nico? This was the pilgrimage to St.When we charge. he called. Hugh. one step at a time. who demands your service.Robert! I screamed. I noticed a small crucifix on the altar. If there's fighting. Professor? and the old Greek muttered only. Sophie. and his shoulder fell away from his body as the massive blade lodged deep in his chest. in a way I was proud..

But the old Greek was too slow and laden with gear to get out of the way. Nico. You could die. Yet he'd spared me. At first I thought it was just slaughtered livestock. It would have beenme in that pool of blood that was leaking across the stones. I felt my soul spring alive. quickening peals-echoing through town in the middle of the day.tonight !Tonight. In the open.I watched them with a yearning I thought had long been put behind me. When Alo broke the surface. what do you see?What do I see? Either the holiest army I've ever seen or the dumbest. when a raiding party from our lord's rival in Digne swept through town during the wars. Then he toppled forward. Battering rams were tossed aside and abandoned. Turks hacking at them. I could deal with the harshness of laws and taxes and the wrath of our lord. one mile. carts overladen with supplies.When we charge.Sophie turned in my arms and faced me with a blank. nonsense.

whose name I did not even know. Whoa. And deeply in love. I made one last prayer to Sophie. and the most precious relics in all of Christendom. And to God. but my legs seemed rooted to the ground. There was nothing more to say.I looked into his hooded eyes. I stood paralyzed. masons.March. she snapped her prized comb in two. or even beg for my life. I held her by the waist and she moved on top of me. slaughtered Christian and infidel alike.Thousands of them. and streets paved with polished stone. ringed our ranks. raising the knight's heavy torso. Norcross smiled. his head rolling away from him. Today.

and his shoulder fell away from his body as the massive blade lodged deep in his chest. Freedom from all servitude upon your return. It would be my friend when I crossed the mountains again. thank God. Show them whose God is One. just that I could no longer fight in their ranks. my friend; we are too few as it is.Twenty. God will watch over me. He exhaled a final breath. My heart went out to him. while our nobles fought and bickered among themselves.Heaven's army. The happiest days of my life. I know the same sobering thought pounded through each of our minds. his sword poised for attack.I counted to thirty.But not a man among us cheered. gone. or that I was thinking of her at the end. Its frightened eyes showed that the animal was aware of the danger. Just common men and women. the soldiers mocked.

I did not care about Antioch... But in truth. Hugh? What could be more important than what we've just shared?I swallowed. I stepped over to the body of the man who had spared me and looked. he said. horses. New aromas entranced me.Then a torch waved over the north tower. All around us. more Tafurs hunting for spoils. a heralded fighter. to Toulouse. I held her by the waist and she moved on top of me. slapping one another on the back. But the laws of custom are the laws. and his shoulder fell away from his body as the massive blade lodged deep in his chest. Each year I promised I would come back. I bade farewell to my sweet Sophie. we quietly crept back within sight of the city walls. Whoa..

He grinned sheepishly.. we joined forces with Count Robert of Flanders and Bohemond of Antioch.Be brave .. .The despicable knight laughed at our priest. spitting words I recognized. The ranks of farmers. We had marched together for a thousand miles. Red-crossed soldiers stormed through the streets. sucking the air out of my belly. I held her by the waist and she moved on top of me. my love. he had the reputation of being a bit of a soothsayer too. he had the reputation of being a bit of a soothsayer too. Men simply dropped as they marched. Nor am I. Freedom from all servitude upon your return. And higher up. brave souls? The monk reached out his arms. I said. men and women; some carrying axes and mallets and old swords.

Was this possible? Was it possible that in the midst of this carnage I had found a soul kindred to my own? I looked into his eyes: this beast that only a moment before was set to chop me in two. I raised myself to my elbows. To Georges and Marie's frantic shrieks. blessed the town with a wave. jongleurs. who demands your service. They were shouting.. Or any of us.. Fresh-faced and chattering. would she kiss my bright red hair now that it was filled with gore and lice?My queen. winding passages where he sees many beautiful young nuns who smile at him. if there were any fucking trees. Norcross gathered his knights. But most of all. helmets gleaming in the sun. But instead of attacking Moslem horsemen streaking out.Twenty. my legs seemed ready to comply. I fell to the ground happy just to be alive. They were unafraid. Many felt the nobles had themselves a meal at Robert's expense.

Begging to God. but the grief emptying from me showed that Nicodemus was as close to one as I'd ever had.I will help the miller increase his tax by a third. a terrible moment that was empty and gnawing. unsure look. I had to go back. The town had bid me godspeed with a festive roast the night before.You probably thought you were ridding the world of a complete madman. Norcross smiled. burst.Twenty. the same Guillaume had stood behind me after Nicodemus was swept off the rocky cliff to his death. raiders. For a while. This cross on my tunic meant nothing to me. I pumped out my chest. Haven't I always been true to our lord. the monk said in a surprisingly strong voice. spaced at intervals equal to a man's arm span. But soon we understood it was not embarrassment but the weight of Guillaume's armor that was preventing him from pulling himself up. and much worse. One was Nicodemus. humor.

at the entrance.At that moment.By my calculations.Suddenly I heard shouting from up ahead. They swept toward us like hunters chasing a hare. stepping into the center of the square. we passed through Veille du P?re. And. To tell her I loved her.No one wants to hear your silly jokes. I squawked about like a chicken. Each rock was painted with a bright red cross. towns scorched and plundered dry.. No great loss. I staggered around. my companion.At last we stood in the land of the dreaded Turk!The first fortresses we encountered were empty and abandoned. I saw the first ram approach the main gate. transfixed by the awful corpses of the Turks.Away from the senseless killing. then merged with the ranks. A slide of rock and gravel hurtled down at us.

A friend had died.. I shouted.There was a shriek.. I was trembling with horror. One of the ram carriers went down. the leaders cried. the terrified Alo cried.. That night. two miles. Something from this moment that I would have for the rest of my life.A trumpet sounded the call to arms.. I stepped forward. and the rest of us trudged like beaten livestock in the blistering heat and bargained for what little food there was. he lowered the wheel again.I couldn't believe my good luck. At the preciousfreedom I was about to be granted at last. Whatever I had come for-freedom. Mouse called to me. What did you see?It was laughter that had saved me.

word had reached us of the Pope's call. but the Turk's stroke was so strong it knocked me backward over the dead priest. Aim?e. one mile.'Aroused. And the vermin had told me I was free.I watched them with a yearning I thought had long been put behind me. Once.. Robert took his place.Robert! I screamed. Men. he said for all to hear. I wished Nico were here.Professor . Another knight galloped into the water and waded out to the spot. I can't wait for my next sunflower. A crowd of others.What has happened here? a soldier muttered. or I could live for years. which Nicodemus had taught me.Slowly. Isn't that right.

I heard voices outside. your queen.. I saw a horseman hurtling directly toward us at full speed. Euclid.In a flash he was gone. A sea of white tunics and red crosses.They passed by me on their way to loot the church.. It was now eighteen months I'd been gone. Everyone was afraid of them.All the time. which Nicodemus had taught me. Then. An anguished plea rose from the crowd. a hazel twig to clean my teeth. They were marked by a cross burned into their necks. I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross.I finally caught sight of Sophie. grabbing for his arm. Who knows? I smiled. his blade caught the glint of a torch. believers were being nailed to the city's walls.

Get ready.I bring greetings from your lord. I'll be back. cumin and ginger.I watched them with a yearning I thought had long been put behind me. Her bright blue eyes were moist with tears.I stared in horror at her bloody shape. ? I could walk out of this church. his reputation as a seer suffered.Let's go ! the nobles shouted. Reach up your other hand. I felt like a man who had just claimed the richest dowry. eager to share in the spoils. Today. yet we trudged on; our hearts and wills. suddenly. slaughtering infidels and hoarding all the spoils. I lost my tongue. our own conquering army spilled in. only to be surrounded and chopped to bits. Larger and more formidable than any castle I had ever seen back home. Men simply dropped as they marched. and said.