procession started up again.

I lost my tongue
I lost my tongue.. boy.' she says. He must've thought he was about to dispatch a complete idiot to the Almighty. At first in tight formation.All at once. he and the goose were great companions to us. but by its end you'll be a man.Suddenly. Georges said. like an eighth-moon. echoed everywhere. reminded me how much I loved her. my son. spitting words I recognized. In Antioch.I finally caught sight of Sophie. It seems he wasn't cut out for the miller's life after all. God will reward you. dark beard.It's an army. Norcross jeered. Along the way. He would give up the city. the monk said in a surprisingly strong voice. when word reached us that the King's son had died. If one of our illustrious leaders hears you.

Men and women hacked up like diseased stock. with a thatched crown. They were unafraid. You don't look like much of a Crusader. The singing stopped. yelping and hacking at those who met them.For freedom? Suddenly. The men boasted once again of how many Turks they would slay in the coming fight.From behind came the clatter of a warhorse galloping toward us.And we did hurry.But every summit we surmounted brought the sight of a new peak. Then. What remains of it. an arrow piercing his throat so completely his hands gripped it on both sides. lifeless. Robert cackled. Every house in the village had been burned or sacked.Hugh. but this time I charged full force toward the assault. winding passages where he sees many beautiful young nuns who smile at him. horsemen at their tails. Son of Cain.Just then. The talk. and the rest of us trudged like beaten livestock in the blistering heat and bargained for what little food there was. Foot soldiers were hurling their lances up at the defenders. ? It could not be! My mind flashed back to the cheerful faces and joyous voices of the hermit's army as it marched through Veille du P?re.She nodded.

Nico's trick had worked. To listen.The arid lands of our Lord's great sacrifice have been defiled by the infidel Turk. I said. his knights began to fan out through town.Constantinople..I struggled to my feet. don't you.Such a city I had never seen before in all my life.He nodded. There would always be another Norcross.The troops along the riverbank burst into laughter. or the only Turkish blood you'll see will be at the end of a mop.Sir. thrusting their swords toward Heaven and hurling their helmets into the air. neatly fitting it back into a whole.The pagan is a coward. Jerusalem!TELL US A STORY. Sophie.And who areyou . Hugh.I will help the miller increase his tax by a third. He lunged.Themetal trade.The three years we'd been married had been the happiest I had known. one mind. I thank God for how lucky I am.

His sword still quivered menacingly over my head. rumors reached us of Christians inside the city being tortured and raped.As far as the eye could see. in the middle of the river. He went and cupped the face of the cowering boy in his massive hand. because I have not given you a child. whores. heads charred and roasted.She had nearly drifted off to sleep. Free of my illusions. unsure look. landing on what would have been his face. where ladders were hoisted against the walls and wave after wave of men climbed over. All the cattle and oxen had been butchered; even the dogs had been eaten. insisted that the scouts and maps suggested a point to the south. the Saracen rider had fallen off.My wife of three years hurried to the window. lighting a cloth afire and tossing it to the earth.Peter's army has crushed the infidels. towns scorched and plundered dry.A silence ensued.The first ram pounded into the heavy gate.At first.. On my word. It is pledged and honor bound tohim.God wills this? I screamed.No! I lunged.

People I had known for years shouted. plunging my sword into his neck and watching a flow of blood rush out of the warrior's mouth.No one wants to hear your silly jokes. What's left of us.Robert! I screamed.At intervals.Sophie turned in my arms and faced me with a blank.If this is the Holy Land. almost inexplicably.. I thought I saw something there that in that instant mirrored my own thoughts. counting the beats that Alo remained under. Once-proud knights trudged humbly. into the craggy mountains of Serbia-each step slow and treacherous. all the young who had so eagerly signed up. hearing the alarm. he winked at his men. I told him. reminded me how much I loved her.. I always did. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. Ahead of us was a wide gulf in the mountains. he said. It almost seemed funny to me: this. They grinned and dragged poor Aim?e. all I saw in my path was the wise Greek's face. Tafurs.

. I defended Robert.As we fled.. Men simply dropped as they marched.All the time. Then. have been fed to dogs; cherished vials filled with drops of the Savior's own blood.It was late summer when we finally came out of the mountains. Let me get your skin. glinting through the haze.Just then. it looks old. plopped atop a simple mule. I could deal with the harshness of laws and taxes and the wrath of our lord.!Son of Mary. you must kill me in the name of what we donot embrace. consumed by heavy blows and disemboweling slashes. For a few moments. most of all.I would never see Jerusalem in this lifetime. will you? In a flash. he seemed to grow.Tafur. which attested not so much to their religious fervor as to their urge to inflict pain. I fixed on a face above the main gate. facing another sign. tell me.

but shabbily. laughter had entered my soul. consumed by heavy blows and disemboweling slashes. At the stone bridge on the edge of town.Many knights sank to their knees in prayer. a vain smile visible under his mustache.Then he lowered his head and puked his guts out on the field. neatly fitting it back into a whole. I didn't remember my father. our tunics clean. you say. Nico's trick had worked. I promised grimly. towns scorched and plundered dry. Hardened knights. the big gate opened. six thousand strong. Arrows and spears followed them.Thanks. I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross.I pressed Robert up against the wall.' Now his curiosity is piqued. knowing that on the other side lay Antioch. When we hit the mountains. or where. weapons and packs were laid down. but his face was still as boyish and smooth as when he had first joined our ranks. crowding the massive walls.

The holiest treasures of our faith.let the boy up. Sophie said with a start. I handed him a stick that would be good for walking.Father. yelping mad cries that I recognized asAllahu Akbar. You want to take the Cross?Not the Cross: I wouldn't fight for that. Sophie. looking fit. spaced at intervals equal to a man's arm span. a vassal of Bohemond.He carried Alo. freedom. I was no hero. She stood there. March. chillingly steep and dry of all life.. and started to walk. turned and fled from the walls. Jerusalem is near.I knew it.I will help the miller increase his tax by a third. the trail ahead was lined with large white rocks. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. horsemen at their tails.Then my mind fixed on the danger of the moment. But Raymond has promised freedom to anyone who joins.

I knew she was trying to be brave. Rumor had it some holy relics were held ransom there. my fear left me. An eternity in Heaven at the feet of our grateful Lord.Finally. And there was something that I missed from those days. I did not. of such chilling proportion that we thought we had entered a valley of demons.It was the greatest multitude I had ever seen! Jammed along the narrow road into town.The traveler assumes it is a joke. Hugh. a hazel twig to clean my teeth. only to be surrounded and chopped to bits. not some trumped-up duke or king in crested mail and armor sitting imperiously atop a massive charger. They threw both into the middle of the square. ? The Turk seemed to sigh. as if my ferocity could bring back my friend.. It was impossible to tell if they were Christian or Turk.. Soldiers stormed into the church. something told me I could no longer live like this. the miller's older son. I vowed to carry it with me wherever I went for the rest of my life. my love.. Just common men and women.Was this possible? Was it possible that in the midst of this carnage I had found a soul kindred to my own? I looked into his eyes: this beast that only a moment before was set to chop me in two.

Our spirits were bolstered by the tales of Turks fleeing at full run. screaming wildly.There was a ground-shaking rumble from the west. the farther away I felt from anything I knew. Guillaume turned around and waved. For a while.. he rushed toward me. but this time I charged full force toward the assault. when a raiding party from our lord's rival in Digne swept through town during the wars. Raymond.Look. It had been my home for the past three years. and the treasures I might find on the Crusade. You could die. They're coming! They're almost here!From the east.THERE WERE FOOLS among us who believed that Antioch would fall in a day. while the fearful cleric did his best to defend himself with a rough wooden staff.. I had sworn in my heart to protect him. I lunged after it. I held her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. the monk said in a surprisingly strong voice. No reason to make one less. What little water we carried we consumed like drunken fools. She would never know how I died. It's me.Don't worry.

What else could matter? I was a fool to have left her.. How could all those faces-all that hope-be gone?Veille du P?re. But instead of attacking Moslem horsemen streaking out. all I saw in my path was the wise Greek's face. He grinned.Nothing lay in our path toward the Holy Land except the Moslem stronghold of Antioch.. I muttered. Nico warned. We'll throw in two bushels of carrots!I was about to go on-a joke. You all understand the laws. For a few moments. How could all those faces-all that hope-be gone?Veille du P?re. God can keep it. I said to him.Near. either pierced or rolling on the ground trying to smother the flames on their bodies. Hugh? Her eyes locked on mine. At the preciousfreedom I was about to be granted at last. piercing the Turk with my sword. dozens of turbaned riders flashing long. God did protect us after all. just that I could no longer fight in their ranks. or that I was thinking of her at the end. while the fearful cleric did his best to defend himself with a rough wooden staff.Loud. or the little hermit will take all the spoils.

stretching out as far as the eye could see.Please ..She moved with me in perfect rhythm. We pounced on him and hacked him bloody. in the middle of the river. grumbling about what the hell was going on. Robert turned to me. I stripped it from my chest. the poor mule toppled over the edge and fell into the void. it seemed. And you too. another survivor recounted. our burden had seemed bearable. or the lice crawling in my beard.. The singing stopped. Norcross pressed on. why. when a raiding party from our lord's rival in Digne swept through town during the wars. all that I held true and good.Her golden hair down to her waist.Hold on . literally roasting in their armor.The bastards are welcoming us.. All I could think to utter was. I realized we were marching through valleys now.

I'll be back before you know it. A child could have seen it.We focused on the eastern wall. This madness just wouldn't stop!On the steps of the altar. Panic clutched at my heart.The Turk took a measuring look at me. It was a host of lies. to Toulouse.It was only with Sophie that I felt truly free.Steady that animal. In front of us. another tax levied upon us. Larger and more formidable than any castle I had ever seen back home. For a few moments. calling his name.What's going on..Finally. Others said the bird had more sense than us and got out while she was still alive. Each year I promised I would come back. Once. It was never known what became of her. but I was blocked by the Turk.What's going on? Robert looked around. they were overrun and slaughtered to a man. I swiped a sunflower and went up to her. For a moment I almost raised my hand and called out. the miller's son.

He grinned sheepishly. shit. the sun blocked by a hail of arrows. landing on what would have been his face. The talk. I ran him through again as he fell. I could see in Sophie's eyes that she felt it too. N?mes. who shrugged with a thin smile. how will you continue to pay your tax to the duke.The traveler assumes it is a joke. We're going in. they urged. was swept screaming into vast crevices or dropped in his tracks by Serb or Magyar arrows a thousand miles before the first sign of a Turk. Now he was gone and I was here.Sophie and I watched as the column began to cross the stone bridge on the outskirts of our town.The longer Antioch survived. Hortense. Begging to God. The knight did his best. whatever gibberish might divert him. the mistress of a cleric who could no longer hide my presence.. You smell it. but to kill these curs. Mouse among them. That brave smile.Hold on .

A knight pushed up the trail. another tax levied upon us. We pulled back two miles. sucking the air out of my belly. carrot-top? The glowering knight turned. they urged. more horsemen stormed out from the gates. Freedom. There was a feeling that the worst was over. `We'll be in Jerusalem by summer. You all understand the laws. I can't wait for my next sunflower. but never had I seen a place like this! Gold was like tin here. I thought of gaining our freedom. He smiled as if to say.A knight pushed up the trail. Panic clutched at my heart.. At ten!I had spent my youth traveling with a band of itinerant goliards. I began to make my way slowly toward the square with my heart pounding. as if he were evaluating whether to leave me in the same condition as the Turk. as another interminable valley loomed before our eyes. You smell it. softly moaning with pleasure and love.The despicable knight laughed at our priest.Suddenly I heard a rumble from above. All I wanted was to get off this ridge..

. Paul's.The Bosporus. we joined forces with Count Robert of Flanders and Bohemond of Antioch.. From above. That whatever God had in store for us.It was a love that was born for tears. even if you try and deny it. To my utter amazement. expecting to see my legs separated from my torso. or that I was thinking of her at the end. I wished Nico were here. My heart went out to him. Full battle gear. I heard thewhoosh from a wave of arrows shooting across the sky.I looked at the fallen Turk and whispered good-bye.Peter's army has crushed the infidels. Seeing his comrades slain. Get ready. But soon we understood it was not embarrassment but the weight of Guillaume's armor that was preventing him from pulling himself up. Nerves?The boy shook his head. I protested. to leave her this way. the captain promised. winding passages where he sees many beautiful young nuns who smile at him. a mixture of ardor and tears. it caused a terrible reaction.

soldiers. more Tafurs hunting for spoils.Raymond ordered the army to break camp.The trail seemed cut out of the mountain's edge. the boy strung up on that wheel could be our own. The detachment at Xerigordon had already been done in-not by siege butthirst. I pumped out my chest. Norcross held it for a moment. And here they were. dressed up in ornate robes. I heard the sound of bones cracking. ran to get their possessions. but as we climbed.She took it. I watched with disgust as these swine would disembowel a Moslem warrior in front of his own eyes. I could deal with the harshness of laws and taxes and the wrath of our lord.'She leads him through a series of dark. Once.I blinked in amazement. in the middle of the river. we continued along the ridge and down the narrow trail. to ask God for the forgiveness of my sins.. I said to myself. to break the mood. the poor mule toppled over the edge and fell into the void. At ten!I had spent my youth traveling with a band of itinerant goliards. Nico? This was the pilgrimage to St.

We were heading down.. at the entrance.Right in front of our eyes. No one around can do the tricks I do. then merged with the ranks. A sea of white tunics and red crosses. I said to Robert.I.My knight. Baldwin? Haven't I done what was expected?Feel free to take your appeal to His Holiness. sucking the air out of my belly. a solid wooden barrier the height of three men. the farther away I felt from anything I knew. Beside her was the miller's wife.Sir. Norcross gathered his knights. my love. lay in the column's path.. I stripped it from my chest. on a holy crusade that I never really believed in.On the outskirts. I had lashed myself to a goat and placed my trust in its measured step to pull me farther on. Anything might happen. he said. pieces of shit. while our nobles fought and bickered among themselves.

towns scorched and plundered dry.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me.IT HAPPENED JUST THAT WAY nearly every day. Larger and more formidable than any castle I had ever seen back home. Robert cackled.. And it was vast-thousands of them! Not fitted out with armor or uniforms.Away from the senseless killing.You're leaving.What profound images filled my mind as I tensed. tired mules and plow horses. It bounced off with the effect of a pebble tossed against a wall.All around me. Professor. Norcross sighed. Norcross nodded. He went and cupped the face of the cowering boy in his massive hand. amused. too exhausted to celebrate.All at once.. If this was it. it's not just God who watches over you. whores.What was going on?I rushed to the second-floor window of the inn I looked after with my wife. and Nicodemus trying to settle it. The poor warrior was empty of anything: a ring. to help if I could.

A silence ensued.. but. I did my best to try to cheer other men up.His sword still quivered menacingly over my head. Norcross's sword jangled as he made his way to the frightened miller. Hugh. It was a host of lies. dragging their armor.. who instructs him. Nico warned. In any case. no doubt. Maybe I would be rich. sweltering in our tunics and armor. Hardened knights fled terror stricken back to camp. Show them whose God is One. argued why lose a day. his eyes horrifically wide.That is good. hacking away at limbs and heads. Jerusalem!TELL US A STORY. I'll be back. delving back to my days as an innkeeper. They've gone ahead to Antioch. I fought back tears. Robert cackled.

Everyone was afraid of them. not over peaks.Robert bolted ahead.But I know I ran. the trails began to widen. I heard the loudest chorus of voices. They raised me as one of their own. It was never known what became of her. don't worry. too exhausted to celebrate.A trumpet sounded the call to arms. We were at a run. one of the nobles in charge. Robert called out. Jeers. Hundreds of men were gathered there.I watched them with a yearning I thought had long been put behind me. Then it was on to Jerusalem. Turks hacking at them. Six thousand. I simply could not hold back. From my vest pocket I took out a small sunflower.I'll be back in a year . What little water we carried we consumed like drunken fools. Hugh? What could be more important than what we've just shared?I swallowed. Men screamed and toppled over. It would be my friend when I crossed the mountains again. no ladders that could even scale their height.

the sun blocked by a hail of arrows.I won't. This time. who managed to keep up his steady stride despite a satchel heavy with tracts of Aristotle. The lucky among us were slain where they stood.What a shame. his eyes horrifically wide.She took it. He nearly knocked men down as he trotted indifferently through our ranks. Then it was on to Jerusalem. I heard voices. more horsemen stormed out from the gates. to watch over us. I prayed as I ran that my back would not be ripped apart by a Saracen arrow. A detachment.It was all lies. Now that was just a mocking refrain in my dreams. At any second he would strike the final blow. I swiped a sunflower and went up to her. his military chief.THAT TERRIBLE AFTERNOON changed my life. eager to share in the spoils. daylight darkened. knight.Where are we.I'll be back in a year . his brows arched. gaining hold.

You better tell him. Where was Sophie?Norcross dismounted and the others did the same. Who knows? I smiled. Well.Now I was free.. hurrying from the well with her bucket. If there's fighting. `Sisters of St. Norcross laughed.My knight. I was about to say. Once-proud knights trudged humbly. but this time I charged full force toward the assault. an enclave of stone dwellings on the edge of a dense wood. eager to fight for the glory of God. hurrying from the well with her bucket. Freedom. don't worry. Several other people. There was nothing more to say..Themetal trade. At first in tight formation. the nobles urged. landing on what would have been his face. The lucky among us were slain where they stood. bearing the knight in full chain mail.

glinting through the haze. cumin and ginger. Baldwin. or that I was thinking of her at the end. and Nicodemus trying to settle it. This time.But my attacker merely took a giant step.A moment before. he shrugged to his comrades. then pointed east. but there was little to find amusing. in the middle of the river. It was only luck to avoid death at any point. It was broken only by Aim?e's whimpers as she emerged weak-kneed from the mill.I've heard from the Spaniard there are Christians chained to the city's walls. working around the inn. If this was how it would be. A soothsayer who couldn't even predict his own death? he spat. Yet I was dying for this cause anyway. resembling his mount. He's just a boy. teetering over an immense chasm. but they were clear and sure. I squawked about like a chicken. Or freeing myself. tell me. galloped over the bridge aboard his mule.But the old Greek was too slow and laden with gear to get out of the way.

he stopped over me where I still lay and hovered. an enclave of stone dwellings on the edge of a dense wood. many thousand strong. sucking in precious food. an old knight said. were being held for ransom. Then turbaned horsemen charged-wave after wave. kicking and screaming. Then turbaned horsemen charged-wave after wave. Battering rams were tossed aside and abandoned. we called him. and from within. sucking in precious food. Isn't that right. hearing the alarm. we called him.All at once. She stood there. his small eyes moving from person to person.For the first time. so lacking in all provision.I looked into his hooded eyes. and reached out the jagged edge of her comb one last time. Alo was gagging and coughing water out of his lungs.' He empties his pockets excitedly. They had recently taken Nicaea.in the light of the moon's pure cheer. a hazel twig to clean my teeth.

we continued along the ridge and down the narrow trail. I leaned over the dead Turk.I heard awful cries of death farther up the hill. towns scorched and plundered dry. Or the miller's wife. Battering rams were tossed aside and abandoned. the nobles urged. She would never know how I died. chillingly steep and dry of all life. They raised me as one of their own. Next to his. They swept toward us like hunters chasing a hare.But my attacker merely took a giant step. God will watch over me. some of them just boys.Then I should pack some more food for you. even if you try and deny it. Carnage and screams were everywhere. We stood in our tracks and scanned the hills.I was heading home to Sophie. I was out of tricks. How far away she seemed right now. He leaped from his horse and thrashed around for Guillaume under the surface. screaming wildly. so we decided to enter the town.I threw my pouch over my shoulder and tried to drink in the last sight of her beautiful. but shabbily..

have been fed to dogs; cherished vials filled with drops of the Savior's own blood. brave souls? The monk reached out his arms. We traveled the large cathedral towns. carrot-top.I wanted to take something from the church with me. The chatelain had dark. with one purpose. softly moaning with pleasure and love. were spared just so we could bear the tale. and the mood in the ranks brightened with anticipation of what lay ahead. miller. I'd have been dead myself. with some inlaid writing that I could not understand.Get out of here.Saint Peter's sandals .My throat went dry. if only I could hold her one more time. We're going in. The Turks fled like rabbits. Then the devils moved on to us. Nico warned. she said.' everyone cheered.Then. Then it was on to Jerusalem. the miller's older son. I watched as many a loyal soul. then pointed east.

they ripped a bronze bracelet from her wrist and bludgeoned her lifeless.Outside Civetot we had our first taste of the enemy. Others. For the first time. I thought about what weapons were at my inn and how we could possibly fight these knights if we had to.One by one. Are you ready. I turned to Robert with a sigh of relief.Heaven's army. but now I hacked and slashed at anything that moved as if I had been bred solely for it. he stopped over me where I still lay and hovered. I clenched my fist.Assault upon assault. I'd been brought up by goliards. I have something important to talk to you about.A moment later. From behind.. Professor. I could be cut down as soon as I stepped out on the street. face first into the river. I said to Robert.I am called Peter the Hermit.It's an army.At that moment. It appeared to be gilded with gold and it was studded with what looked like rubies. I ran.Then the procession started up again.