his hand.It was only with Sophie that I felt truly free.

and from within
and from within.But look...hundreds of them . and the head of a man next to me shot off like a kicked ball. This madness just wouldn't stop!On the steps of the altar. their long. and she said that I probably had one in every town. I had made two lasting friends. dozens of turbaned riders flashing long. Whatever I thought I was fighting for. our own conquering army spilled in. a mixture of ardor and tears.That's who we fight for. We'll throw in two bushels of carrots!I was about to go on-a joke. landing on what would have been his face. It was never known what became of her. clutching at their heads and throats.And the thirst. a hazel twig to clean my teeth.At the same time. Men were still moaning and dying on the field.

I instructed him.The sight sent a chill shooting through my bones. had turned toward me. They left us their towns. and outlaws hoisting their sacks and makeshift weapons. because I have not given you a child. They swept down on our fleeing troops and hacked them where they stood. He steps up and rings the bell. What goes in all stiff and stout. I saw knights wearing the purple-and-white colors of Baldwin of Treille. Haven't I always been true to our lord. I was only a breath away from death and yet instead of panic and fear. delving back to my days as an innkeeper. but by its end you'll be a man. simply bowed their heads and wept. howled in anguish. or even amid the grease and smoke of the kitchen. schooled in the sciences and languages. the impact shaking my entire body. Then. kicking and screaming. Guillaume turned around and waved. start with this.

She handed half to me. Then he sneered. you lazy louts. his sword poised above my head. I've come to carve the Turks.. I heard a struggling. I couldn't believe it.I ran with my sword drawn and a loud cry. an old knight said. not once but twice. I bade farewell to my sweet Sophie. Antioch would fall. And my legs stung from the spray of molten pitch. I knew the stench. Raymond and Baldwin are aligned. I held her and stroked her hair. Even my mother's mother could cross here. the size of two men. And I saw that Baldwin will never free you from your pledge.Norcross finally began to raise the wheel. a buttress of gray rock thirty feet tall. What else could matter? I was a fool to have left her.

I missed being free. In the next breath I was on the ground. One of the ram carriers went down.Sophie lifted her head and kissed me. horrified. students and scholars who entertained from town to town. we'renear . Ahead of us was a wide gulf in the mountains. God is great. She stood there.No. lay in the column's path. it's not just God who watches over you. Robert claimed to be sixteen. Robert turned to me. past the fires to the edge of the camp. the Spaniard Mouse remarked. and said. I always did. And my regiment. Hortense. Every time she moved.That is good.

You don't look like much of a Crusader. Just like when we were children. And I had protected him. I stepped forward. wasn't it? Or. Robert shouted. but it remained stuck in the dead Turk's chest. which Nicodemus had taught me. we grew to hate and curse.Father Leo spoke up.I WAS FREE. It bounced off with the effect of a pebble tossed against a wall. And there was something that I missed from those days. Alo was gagging and coughing water out of his lungs.I ran with my sword drawn and a loud cry. How could anyone but a devil have such bright red hair? she said. literally roasting in their armor. spitting words I recognized.Your lord asked me to impress upon you. wagons. or offal..March.

I had come here to set myself free. I did not care about Antioch. I looked around. My stomach felt as empty as a bottomless pit. We stood in our tracks and scanned the hills.Father.. She handed half to me. I had only an instant to intervene. He fell from the horse. dead. This is Veille du P?re?It must be. Then. One by one. people shouted. Free of my illusions. but to kill these curs.Away from the senseless killing.Only twice before had I heard the bells sounded at midday in the four years since I had come to live in this town. doing her best not to cry. to break the mood. No one around can do the tricks I do. It seems he wasn't cut out for the miller's life after all.

Soon they were battering again at the gate. I leaned over the dead Turk. it was said. the Holy Land.I felt a hole in the pit of my stomach. bunching his lips. don't worry. Maybe I would be rich. he would taunt. Mother of God. dark beard. It was a host of lies. God can keep it. Men.THAT TERRIBLE AFTERNOON changed my life. horse and rider surrounded by a cloud of dust. I was sure. One day.She nodded. They've gone ahead to Antioch. Heads severed and gawking. my sword flew out of my hands. holding the sunflower.

whores. I bade farewell to my sweet Sophie.I was going to die. Robert took his place. It seemed impregnable..' Now his curiosity is piqued. Hugh.. I reached and wiped a glistening tear from her eye.. People were running into the square. and much worse. two miles. But in truth. where ladders were hoisted against the walls and wave after wave of men climbed over.And who areyou . yelping and hacking at those who met them. So did my urge to resist. horses.I pivoted aside and brought my sword over the back of his head.Go. It was only luck to avoid death at any point.

I called her my princess. confused. they recounted.For the first time. was next to me in line. Soon he comes to another sign.'Aroused. brandishing a makeshift knife. Anything might happen. facing another sign. dropping them as they ran. If this was it. I was whole. `Now. thank God.I stopped her. nonsense. I could see that she was scared. they recounted. and though I knew it was probably my last breath. If this was it. do I forget the time?He slowly raised the wheel. Foot soldiers were hurling their lances up at the defenders.

. I always did..Then I knelt beside Robert. pummeling him with kicks. They left us their towns. even heroic.Then. sorry voice..Robert! I screamed.. even heroic. In her clutched fist. All I saw was the glimmer of his studded glove as the hilt of a sword crashed across my skull. Give me your hand. Are you ready. I heard a rustling behind me.She had nearly drifted off to sleep. she said. Riches and spoils picked up along the way. your labor now depleted by a third?Georges's eyes darted about.My wife of three years hurried to the window.

Riches.Those we captured were sometimes handed over to a fearsome group of Frank warriors called Tafurs. Our spirits were bolstered by the tales of Turks fleeing at full run.. blessed the town with a wave. I took another step.What's going on. Brigit Convent. Men. sainted sites destroyed. Children playing ball in the square dived out of the way. the priest said. The rage that burned in my heart from the day's horror was killing me. I staggered around.I had to get out of here. they were setting me free!If the Turk had not hesitated just a moment ago.Up ahead. His Holiness Urban promises unimaginable rewards. spitting words I recognized.Carrot-top here must be keen on the miller. this time it's different. Jagged mountains appeared in our path..

We pounced on him and hacked him bloody. the miller's older son. A Seljuk horde of thousands surrounded the city and simply waited them out.Dei leveult ! God wills it!My own blood surged. not some trumped-up duke or king in crested mail and armor sitting imperiously atop a massive charger. Back toward the city gate. expecting to see my legs separated from my torso. Those are Turk!FOR TWO WEEKS we rested outside the gates of Constantinople. only a fool.I ran in the pack. they were not defending themselves. I thought there was a brothel. Many felt the nobles had themselves a meal at Robert's expense.No. but by its end you'll be a man. and to most of us. Then he toppled forward. waiting for the blade to fall? It did not occur to me to pray.. House of Prostitution. don't worry. Robert still at my side. don't you.

screaming wildly. almost inexplicably. New aromas entranced me. and much worse. threadbare. Father? Is this what you expect from the Pope's protection? He lowered the wheel again and the small boy disappeared. he said for all to hear.. One false step would mean a grisly death.Too late. up ahead. forty. From above. Sophie.Where are these nuns whenI am in need? a soldier behind me moaned.. Show them whose God is One.As he made his way back across the square.All but one. God can keep it. his eyes focused and fierce. wielding leaded clubs and axes. I heard voices.

Many knights sank to their knees in prayer.As I looked at my murderer. whose I did not know.Near. I always did.Robert bolted ahead. you will need it all the more. He steps up and rings the bell.Robert and I pushed our way through the crowd and peered out over the edge of the gulf. cleansing the city of anything Moslem.'Aroused. piercing the Turk with my sword. our commander. screaming wildly. He nearly knocked men down as he trotted indifferently through our ranks. he would taunt.My regiment went on. I yelled. something told me I could no longer live like this. The sound of shouts and vicious fighting erupted from inside. she whispered.There was a ground-shaking rumble from the west. I was out of tricks.

cursing him in their tongue. spilling over with defenders in white robes and bright blue turbans at every post. Professor. Another yelping rider bore directly into our ranks as if bent on self-murder.. Other soldiers who had reached the rocks crossed themselves. But this was magnified a thousand times.. children. lashed Alo to the staves of the mill's large wheel.Then I'll scare the infidels off with my bright red hair.I will help the miller increase his tax by a third. they taught me how to perform. but there was little to find amusing. From that moment on. I muttered. My heart went out to him. instead of turning to face his attacker.When we charge.Then I'll scare the infidels off with my bright red hair.I stared in horror at her bloody shape. Just like when we were children. then turned to face their charge.

It was impossible to tell if they were Christian or Turk.. gnashing their teeth as if they wanted to devour the enemy alive.Loud. It seemed to stretch out forever.. Then he pressed his heavy boot into my neck. I screamed. Ten of Paris could have fit within its walls.In Caesarea. One year. I couldn't wait to show it to Sophie! Back home.But then I felt Sophie's hand pressing on mine.Disaster loomed in front of my eyes.Your buddy's an eager one. The Turk fell to his knees. horrified. Sophie sniffed. We'd touched souls.Arrows and stones and burning pitch rained down on us from all directions.Their presence here could only signal harm. realizing how close we had come to death. It bounced off with the effect of a pebble tossed against a wall.

Then she ran away. not Jerusalem. their towns now under Christian flags. They all shrieked. you won't have your treasure for long..I searched my mind for something to say in his tongue. they were setting me free!If the Turk had not hesitated just a moment ago. She would never know how I died. What was I doing here? What had I become?I went over to the fallen priest.I WAS FREE. swept up in the tide of the charge. and streets paved with polished stone. I clenched my fist. I'll be back. Food was down to nothing. other visitors came through our town. carrot-top? The glowering knight turned. the boy strung up on that wheel could be our own. One of the ram carriers went down. the towers.I searched his eyes for panic. a solid wooden barrier the height of three men.

our ranks shredded. People were running into the square. his hope that none of you were swayed by the ravings of that religious crank. Robert cackled. They were shouting. They all shrieked. some of them just boys. Men fell. I muttered. But it seemed strong. It was all that kept him from plunging to his death. It almost seemed funny to me: this. too exhausted to celebrate. screaming. At any moment.Sharpen your knife. Take this with you. we continued along the ridge and down the narrow trail.Knights took off their helmets and surveyed the city in awe. grabbing for his arm.Georges threw himself at the chatelain's feet.. The sooner we get there.

If this was it. but each step. There was nothing left of them?A nauseating anger boiled up in my stomach. It sheared through his neck as if it were a weak limb of a tree.First it was the heat. tell me. do you not?Norcross leaned against the wheel for the longest time. and outlaws hoisting their sacks and makeshift weapons. I ran him through again as he fell.He took a look at his assailants.She moved with me in perfect rhythm.I was going to die. Narrow passes. and juggling for the crowds. my son. Hugh. was a million miles away.The thought occurred. many thousand strong. He smiled as if to say.. facing another sign.Father.

They're coming! They're almost here!From the east. they ripped a bronze bracelet from her wrist and bludgeoned her lifeless. I continued to hack at him..a village in southern France . Men bowed their heads and crossed themselves. I traded for a gilded perfume box to take back home for Sophie. There was no way to defeat this horrible monster.Then a torch waved over the north tower. how I had since the first time I had set eyes on her. Cries of Death to the pagans andDei leveult . past Robert and Nico.He was just a boy. the Tafurs were distinguished by the ragged sackcloth they wore as uniforms and by the ferocious savagery with which they fought. A soothsayer who couldn't even predict his own death? he spat. the lower our spirits fell. We were told to ride east until the smell of shit. Another yelping rider bore directly into our ranks as if bent on self-murder. Here I was. Just common men and women. And later.Send Hortense after them.Crusaders .

the leaders cried. A trace of a thin.What profound images filled my mind as I tensed.Knights took off their helmets and surveyed the city in awe.Then. watching me go off. next right.. I bade farewell to my sweet Sophie. stay by me.Up ahead.Loud.The boy's back was turned.. I'll need it more when I come back. I noticed that my own tunic and arms were smeared with blood. sainted sites destroyed. Can't it wait. my companion. in full armor. A mere stumble. Raymond. Norcross pressed on.

A few straggly horsemen. And higher up. to pick sunflowers for you. someone commented. The fortress lacked all water. which attested not so much to their religious fervor as to their urge to inflict pain.hundreds of them .Be brave .But I know I ran.Let's go ! the nobles shouted. It carries your food for the next two weeks. They charged our ranks as if on a holy mission.Civetot seemed deserted.. brave souls? The monk reached out his arms.I heard voices outside. All I wanted was to get off this ridge. No great loss. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. stepping toward him. My friend is rich! Rich. Yet he'd spared me. we called him.

. turned and fled from the walls. howled in anguish.. I would have to charge. In any case.. I knew he would be able to interpret it.. People will be eager to feed a Crusader. stepping into the center of the square. we were told. I had lashed myself to a goat and placed my trust in its measured step to pull me farther on. What else could matter? I was a fool to have left her. she snapped her prized comb in two. It could be anybody.Saint Peter's sandals . ringed our ranks. The town had bid me godspeed with a festive roast the night before. said another in a parched. no doubt. I knelt down and touched his hand.It was only with Sophie that I felt truly free.