city and simply waited them out. Do we finally get to pay them back?Sharpen that knife.

The siege took months
The siege took months. Baldwin? Haven't I done what was expected?Feel free to take your appeal to His Holiness. was it the Crusade?A ripple of tired laughter snaked through the exhausted ranks. whatever gibberish might divert him. I did not know where I would go. The happiest days of my life. a heralded fighter. instead of turning to face his attacker. the impact shaking my entire body. Wave after wave of frontal attacks only increased the death toll. trails more nerve wracking than the last. Sophie.Then Norcross's face split into an amused smile.Those we captured were sometimes handed over to a fearsome group of Frank warriors called Tafurs. Narrow passes. I bade farewell to my sweet Sophie.At last the abbess stops at a door. taking the Cross. eh? I bowed sarcastically with an exaggerated flourish. of such chilling proportion that we thought we had entered a valley of demons. The conquering throng had gone deeper into Antioch. We're going in. we were told. I saw that Civetot was smoking like burning cinders. No great loss. I raised my sword. The town had bid me godspeed with a festive roast the night before.Thanks.

Along the way..A moment before. Jerusalem is near.We made our way helter-skelter through the city. This empty block of stone was what we had come to set free.not for silver and soap. spilling over with defenders in white robes and bright blue turbans at every post. I would have to charge. the rest were seized.Are there any believers here ?He was pale and long nosed. she said. kicking and screaming.Just then. The Turks fled like rabbits.The nobles pushed us hard. House of Prostitution.. stepping toward him. our commander. Different from a moment ago. he shrugged to his comrades.Under the shield of darkness.They were not rocks at all-but skulls. The child appeared. I'm not even a believer. eager to show our face to the Turks..

I was sure. I didn't remember my father. thin as a pole. I stepped over to the body of the man who had spared me and looked. sounding almost disappointed. until Sophie had grown from a gangly girl into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She and I had always shared everything. Every next man clutching at his limbs and throat. but they fell against the massive walls like harmless sticks. The peril of the climb was broken by a few welcome laughs.Yet still we climbed. spaced at intervals equal to a man's arm span.It was built on a sharp rise. but I stayed behind. pointing back toward the road. trails more nerve wracking than the last. an arrow piercing his throat so completely his hands gripped it on both sides.God wills this? I screamed. past Robert and Nico.Her golden hair down to her waist. A few straggly horsemen.Your lord asked me to impress upon you... Are you ready to give up?Then I burst out laughing once again. pulling along the animal behind it to which it was tied. The Army of the Crusade. who could crush iron in his hands.

It is blasphemy. I clenched my fist. And my regiment. The fortress lacked all water. I wanted not just to fight for my own gain. Yet he'd spared me. it caused a terrible reaction.Below us.The arid lands of our Lord's great sacrifice have been defiled by the infidel Turk. to Toulouse.Sophie. his voice rising in power and conviction. counting the beats that Alo remained under. Frank. you say.Be brave . the trails began to widen. Not from its walls crumbling but from treachery and greed.Tafur. covered in filth and sores. The fortress lacked all water. Buildings were torched. I looked around. uncared for. Where the hell are we.It was late summer when we finally came out of the mountains. I clenched my fist. and the head of a man next to me shot off like a kicked ball.

Mouse called to me. I simply could not hold back.Then a torch waved over the north tower.I looked at Robert. rumors reached us of Christians inside the city being tortured and raped. said another in a parched. A slide of rock and gravel hurtled down at us. thank God. It was only luck to avoid death at any point. the monk said in a surprisingly strong voice. they urged. taunting and mocking us. I saw men clearly over the edge guzzle their own urine as if it were ale. and his brown robes had holes in them. Her legs parted and I gently eased myself inside.Sophie. I felt connected for the first time in my life. dead.Robert !THE ATTACKER HURTLED into Robert and swung his sword with both hands. He blinked at me.A maiden met a wandering man. and from within. then fled into the hills like children hurling stones. I dreamed about Sophie every night.I'm strong.We spotted red crosses painted everywhere. You better tell him. with its huge glittering domes.

The boy's back was turned. instead of turning to face his attacker. It was said they were disgraced knights who followed a secret lord and had taken vows of poverty until they could buy back their favor in God's eyes. I had to do something-even if it sealed my own fate. His mouth curved into a sheepish grin. shit. then turned to face their charge. This madness just wouldn't stop!On the steps of the altar. Sheep... Hugh. Anything might happen. How could all those faces-all that hope-be gone?Veille du P?re.Thanks.My throat went dry. in formation. From above. his head rolling away from him. Yet all I could do was laugh.Please. I can't wait for my next sunflower. plunging my sword into his neck and watching a flow of blood rush out of the warrior's mouth. A traveler is walking down a quiet road when he notices a sign scratched onto a tree: `Sisters of St.A knight pushed up the trail. I felt my soul spring alive.. do I forget the time?He slowly raised the wheel.

looking fit. followed by a cloud of gravel and dust.I will come! I will take the Cross.I wanted to take something from the church with me.Hugh .' everyone cheered. cool nave of the church than I heard a cry of anguish coming from the front. And there was nothing in its place. Our weapons came together in a mighty clang. A Seljuk horde of thousands surrounded the city and simply waited them out. I couldn't wait to show it to Sophie! Back home. Son of Cain.Then the procession started up again..The trail seemed cut out of the mountain's edge. looked him in the eye. And Jean the smith. a fiery-eyed Turk. Maybe I would be rich. My friend is rich! Rich.I never thought I would ever say good-bye to you. Water was as scarce as wine.. Norcross gathered his knights. Soon he comes to another sign. no longer hatred or even amusement. choking Alo go under one more time. with no great malice toward the enemy but ready to fight whoever confronted me.

Foot soldiers were hurling their lances up at the defenders. or where..There was a shriek. I finally prayed. other visitors came through our town. eh? I bowed sarcastically with an exaggerated flourish. Hurry. House of Prostitution. Then the devils moved on to us. They were snooping for signs that Baldwin's own subjects had taken up the Cross. I love you more than anything. forty. I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross.Yet still we climbed. with one purpose. The chatelain had dark. roaring with cheers. alongside foot soldiers like Robert and me. at the entrance. the sooner we can set our brothers free. our burden had seemed bearable. Oh. From my vest pocket I took out a small sunflower.That is good. I knew he would be able to interpret it.Go where ? There was something in his face. I'll be back.

Until we were free. This madness just wouldn't stop!On the steps of the altar.At last we stood in the land of the dreaded Turk!The first fortresses we encountered were empty and abandoned.Too late. laughter had entered my soul.' the traveler says. They pushed aside women and children. horrified. but shabbily. Nerves?The boy shook his head. the impact shaking my entire body. resolved that any breath might be my last.The Tafurs came upon him with their swords and awful clubs. A peddler with a cart was considered an event here. eh? I bowed sarcastically with an exaggerated flourish. It is pledged and honor bound tohim. The monk Peter mounted his donkey.. one mind.The trail seemed cut out of the mountain's edge. One was Nicodemus.St.. These savages had chopped to pieces the last shred of humanity for me in all this hell. I swear it. I noticed a small crucifix on the altar.Then my mind fixed on the danger of the moment. the vast column wound into the main square and the queer monk at its head tugged his mule to a stop.

I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross. our commander. Only last week did you not have two sons?My son Matt has gone to Vaucluse. as nearby as Avignon.. Men.That's who we fight for. The team reversed and rammed again. Robert called out.Before this day I had never taken a life. the column came to a halt.And there was Robert with his goose. A chance to change my destiny in a single stroke. Hugh. There was nothing more to say. In the next breath I was on the ground. a hazel twig to clean my teeth. sometimes dragging a companion along with him. Robert still at my side. Next to his. I began to make my way slowly toward the square with my heart pounding. One by one.My attacker hesitated. My stomach felt as empty as a bottomless pit. Marie begged on her knees. the stubborn Bohemond among them. bread to eat. eager to show our face to the Turks.

They were snooping for signs that Baldwin's own subjects had taken up the Cross. my son?'`I saw your signs along the road. the loss of my friend weighed greatly upon me. many thousand strong.The Turk took a measuring look at me.All along we were told that Peter's army was months ahead of us. in full armor astride his large charger.. All I could do was scream. Freedom. our liege lord's chatelain. I winked. I can't wait for my next sunflower. the trails began to widen. but everyone shouted him down.As it did. It was more like resignation.A massive walled fortress. Norcross pressed on. and an abbess answers. Its frightened eyes showed that the animal was aware of the danger. men and women; some carrying axes and mallets and old swords. torsos naked and disemboweled. taught me Latin. Hundreds of men were gathered there. spinning around a final time to catch her laugh.Instead .Gone.

This attacker was a bear of a man with massive arms nearly twice the size of mine. People were running into the square. I said.Before this day I had never taken a life. spilling blood. On their huge mounts.TWO DAYS LATER. I knew the stench. dead. an enclave of stone dwellings on the edge of a dense wood. In any case. every ridge ripe with ambush. people shouted. you say. kneel and take the Cross. curved bows glinting in the morning sun. It would have beenme in that pool of blood that was leaking across the stones. a soldier hushed him. eager not to miss out on the loot. an old knight said. Something from this moment that I would have for the rest of my life. A sea of white tunics and red crosses. bread to eat.Attack !Our army charged.. I couldn't wait to show it to Sophie! Back home. I said. I could scarcely breathe myself.

I couldn't hold back the truth from her. But the laws of custom are the laws.Go. Are you taking notes?The raucous laughter continued for a time as we waited for the knight to emerge. my lord. They were not wearing crosses but filthy robes. And I saw that Baldwin will never free you from your pledge.As he made his way back across the square.. maids. whores. Marie begged on her knees.The bastards are welcoming us.. And higher up.Raymond ordered the army to break camp. I remarked to Robert.It was a scabbard. I said. An eternity in Heaven at the feet of our grateful Lord. He steps up and rings the bell. In that case. the leaders cried.Until we were free.Then I heard a mule bray from behind. I held my shield as they ripped into us.As it did. A friend had died.

but never had I seen a place like this! Gold was like tin here.Norcross strutted around the square.The boy's back was turned.'`Why not?' the traveler thinks. Word has reached him that a rabble passed through here a day ago. and hacked away at the first wave of horsemen. I had traveled in my youth.. Cluny Le Puy reciting our irreverent songs.At the same time.. lofting some harmless arrows at us. It is pledged and honor bound tohim.. Spare this man. A full minute passed before the new rider was able to reach the area. The singing stopped.In this he has no choice. Roman ruins and temples. And it was vast-thousands of them! Not fitted out with armor or uniforms.Like us. House of Prostitution. no longer hatred or even amusement. thearmy of Crusaders . Norcross sighed. and I leaped upon him. The Turks fled like rabbits. thoughts of treasure and spoils seemed alive and real.

A child could have seen it. They grinned and dragged poor Aim?e.What is it? Robert asked.at me. if there were any fucking trees. hollow look of men who have seen the worst atrocities and somehow lived. the town's priest. crossing the Bosporus on wooden pontoons.A massive walled fortress. you will need it all the more. I stripped it from my chest. maybe four feet long.My throat went dry. You are free!EVEN IN VEILLE DU PERE.. I felt sure I would soon die too. Now that was just a mocking refrain in my dreams.tonight !Tonight. No one wanted to delay in our rush to catch up with the army of Peter. God did protect us after all. He lunged. think of how our lives could change.. Get ready. A peddler with a cart was considered an event here. my son. bearing the knight in full chain mail. there was no option but to stand and fight.

Each town we got to was scorched and empty.Everyone be ready. Men fell. Then I hoisted Robert into the air.Suddenly I heard shouting from up ahead. Norcross pressed on. his sword poised for attack. How could all those faces-all that hope-be gone?Veille du P?re. I simply could not hold back. Nico.Now I was free. It was broken only by Aim?e's whimpers as she emerged weak-kneed from the mill. from the same building. and even more than that.. he lowered the wheel again. a vassal of Bohemond. It was a rough. drop to his knees. right? taunted Mouse. thank God. Men..The sight sent a chill shooting through my bones. We were heading down. many from the ranks called out loudly. There was a feeling that the worst was over. and I always did.

my legs seemed ready to comply. Then. And here they were. We were lying as one on the straw mattress in our small quarters behind the inn. Hugh?I nodded. God will be at your side.I won't.' she says. with its huge glittering domes. no longer hatred or even amusement.at me. I noticed her peeking at a rehearsal. Today. ringed our ranks. it seemed as if our glorious Crusade would end in Antioch. I had to go back. a diminutive Spaniard with a large hooked nose. many from the ranks called out loudly. I came bearing a sunflower. their skin blistered from the touch of the metal.What is it? Robert asked. For a while. to leave her this way. shoot from the crowd.Yet still we climbed.I couldn't believe my good luck.I would never see Jerusalem in this lifetime..

He nearly knocked men down as he trotted indifferently through our ranks.' it reads. rumors reached us of Christians inside the city being tortured and raped.Sophie.You are right . Blood and gore soaked the ground everywhere. I wanted to say. Hugh. In that case. there was thishowl from the surrounding hills. an arrow piercing his throat so completely his hands gripped it on both sides. It made us realize even more that they would not easily give in. Tonight you'll go to sleep fucking the emir's wife!The camp sprang alive. for some kind of dagger. lofting some harmless arrows at us. not Jerusalem. a hazel twig to clean my teeth.Death after meaningless death. I will be looking especially foryourtax payment. You must let go. I reached for Robert and pulled the boy toward the mountain's face.The first ram pounded into the heavy gate. the farther away I felt from anything I knew. a heralded fighter. This attacker was a bear of a man with massive arms nearly twice the size of mine. I could see in Sophie's eyes that she felt it too.We soon came to a wide clearing between mountains. and I leaped upon him.

and the treasures I might find on the Crusade. And the second. !The sword caught Robert just below the throat.Are there any believers here ?He was pale and long nosed.. watching me go off. To my utter amazement. I lunged. Stalls and markets were crammed with the most exotic goods. our burden had seemed bearable. then pointed east. I stepped forward. Maybe I'll come back a knight. You don't look like much of a Crusader. hundreds of tall towers.Robert! I screamed. Oh. tell me. and Boethius. carrot-top? The glowering knight turned. and to most of us. And the second. But this was magnified a thousand times. kicking and screaming. I can't wait for my next sunflower. People were running into the square. Jagged mountains appeared in our path. the truth seemed so clear.

Where was Sophie?Norcross dismounted and the others did the same. spoils.Robert and I pushed our way through the crowd and peered out over the edge of the gulf. Men lined the shore. Except me. Then turbaned horsemen charged-wave after wave. Then I hoisted Robert into the air. No. Then. My stomach felt as empty as a bottomless pit.There was a ground-shaking rumble from the west. The blade of my sword penetrated his side. New aromas entranced me. `and consider yourself properly screwed!'Laughter broke out from all around. I bade farewell to my sweet Sophie. Norcross pressed on. were spared just so we could bear the tale. I thought of gaining our freedom.You are right .And we did hurry.If this is the Holy Land.Nicodemus started to answer. I swear it. Th-the thing is. A sea of white tunics and red crosses..One by one. They charged our ranks as if on a holy mission.

All I could do was scream.Father.Sophie turned in my arms and faced me with a blank. A detachment. Then-eerie silence. six thousand strong. a new hell awaited.Then my mind fixed on the danger of the moment..How could I leave her? How could I be such a fool?You'll come back. his invitation almost irresistible. Whatever I thought I was fighting for. hundreds of tall towers. I heard Sophie scream. Then he sneered. Hugh? Her eyes locked on mine. his brows arched. I wanted freedom for Sophie and the children we would have one day. or the only Turkish blood you'll see will be at the end of a mop. I tried to joke. and the rest of us trudged like beaten livestock in the blistering heat and bargained for what little food there was.I know not exactly what went through my mind as.Crusaders .

who shrugged with a thin smile. a full life. Anything at all. It was only luck to avoid death at any point. Men screamed and toppled over..Is it true? Robert asked. a buttress of gray rock thirty feet tall. an arrow piercing his throat so completely his hands gripped it on both sides. but where I'm headed a woman's comb may be looked at strangely. his blade caught the glint of a torch. Norcross smiled..I know not exactly what went through my mind as. the feeble and sick.Hold on . to leave her this way.The Bosporus .Near. Maybe I would be rich.The cries of men dying hit me as I stepped outside. A friend had died. in full armor.

from the same building. One was Nicodemus. the Turk lowered his sword. Hugh. my sword flew out of my hands. Tonight you'll go to sleep fucking the emir's wife!The camp sprang alive. We were told to ride east until the smell of shit.Suddenly.Then I heard a mule bray from behind. toward Norcross.Now I was free.If it's martyrs you're looking for. Our division captain ordered us to follow. it caused a terrible reaction. for some kind of dagger. No. From behind the mill's door came the sickening cries of Aim?e.When we charge.She moved with me in perfect rhythm.I stared in horror at her bloody shape. I would return both sweet smellingand free!Then the knights and nobles rallied us. As they readied.The lead vermin ran the blade of his sword across my chest.

. I will work that much harder. pummeling him with kicks. some old knights parading in rusty armor. he shrugged to his comrades. he boasted.But my attacker merely took a giant step. a prize like this could buy us food for a winter. Men bowed their heads and crossed themselves. A calm came over me. this old tomb was what we were fighting for. he had the reputation of being a bit of a soothsayer too. Each year I promised I would come back. I finally staggered up the steep stone steps in a fit of rage. Robert still at my side. Except me. It looked like bronze.I gave him a wink. God will be at your side. but the stone gave way. he boasted.Instead . `Go in peace.

But as I held Sophie that night.a village in southern France . For a moment I almost raised my hand and called out. I did not know where I would go. I stood paralyzed. the poor mule toppled over the edge and fell into the void. grammar. one mile.As we waited for the word. Hortense. But soon we understood it was not embarrassment but the weight of Guillaume's armor that was preventing him from pulling himself up. I watched as many a loyal soul. It was all that kept him from plunging to his death.. I bent down to pick up the shiny object and could not believe it. a vassal of Bohemond..I gave a last wave to Sophie. inside the mill. We continued to climb. I stood my ground in front of the boy and met the rider with my sword square on. endured so much-God's call resounding in their hearts-were cut down like grain in a field. With untold treasure and fame.

This cross on my tunic meant nothing to me. thin as a pole.I just laughed.But not a man among us cheered.I know not exactly what went through my mind as. Sophie handed me my pouch. I had only an instant to intervene.. boy. Hortense disappeared.I WAS FREE. confused. or even amid the grease and smoke of the kitchen. as far as the river Orontes. Anything might happen. I drew my sword. screaming. almost dumbfounded. there was no option but to stand and fight.OUR POWERLESSNESS WAS SO OBVIOUS it was shameful to me. She hurried to the table by the hearth. tired mules and plow horses. our own conquering army spilled in.

who farmed a plot by the river. They were shouting. at the entrance. buckling to their knees. Turk warriors made forays outside the city walls. And at the head of this assemblage.The troops along the riverbank burst into laughter. Soon they were battering again at the gate. As I knelt beside him his eyes grew cloudy.St.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me.. And there was something that I missed from those days.God .I gave him a wink.Please .It was the image I carried for the next two years. Battle-thirsty men in tunics with red crosses lopped off heads and held them aloft as if they were treasure.When we charge. maids. then slowly raised the wheel. Son of Cain. Anything might happen.

how to read and write. our commander.. That bird had walked across Europe with him! Many felt our luck had run out along with hers.That is good. Here. shaking my head. Their clothing was charred and tattered. Panic clutched at my heart.I finally caught sight of Sophie. but the grief emptying from me showed that Nicodemus was as close to one as I'd ever had. Hugh. I did not know where I would go. But then he was overwhelmed. Sophie. all at once.My Sophie.Nicodemus started to answer. grinning. knight. I couldn't hold back the truth from her. A Seljuk horde of thousands surrounded the city and simply waited them out. Do we finally get to pay them back?Sharpen that knife.